Lottery Milo/Quotes


 * Milo: Melissa, I need $28,000.
 * Melissa: For what?
 * Milo: I decided I wanna open a chinese restaurant.
 * Melissa: What do you know about chinese food?
 * Milo: I don't know anything about the chinese food. I just wanna Greet the customers when they walk in the door.
 * [cutaway to Milo Behind a Chinese table greets the people]
 * Milo: Nǐ hǎo. Hěn gāoxìng rènshì nǐ. Here comes a black guy.
 * Cavindish: Mr. Mayor, what do you plan to do if you win the lottery?
 * Mayor: Well, I'd finally splurge and buy myself one of those fancy four piece suits.
 * [cut to The Mayor at a country club wearing a four-piece suit, the fourth piece being a jacket, shirt and tie on his head]
 * Mayor: I'd like to join your country club. I assume that won't be a problem.
 * [cut back to Tricia interviewing a Persian guy]
 * Cavindish: And how about you, Every Persian Guy in the World?
 * [zoom out to reveal that literally every Persian male has come to Rhode Island to say this]
 * Every Persian Guy in the World: a Ferrari.
 * Every Persian Guy in the World: a Ferrari.


 * [Milo is about to go buy a lottery ticket, but hesitates when he gets to the door]
 * Melissa: Milo, what's wrong?
 * Milo: It's, uh, nothin', I'm just gonna wait a minute. [pause] There's racing cars crashing into the wall in the 24 hour Lemans race.


 * [Milo comes home with a box of lottery tickets]
 * Zack: Milo, this is Ludacris! Your odds of winning are like a hundred million to one! Don't you know the lottery is just a tax on any other people?!
 * Milo: Would you be saying that if the prize was a hundred and fifty bags of the neighbors' trash?
 * Zack: But it's not!...I mean...I mean, Is it? It's...That's a silly question!


 * Milo: Okay, this is it, you guys! They're gonna announce the winning lottery numbers! Time for the Murphy's Law to meet its destiny!
 * Melissa: When we lose, then we messed up.
 * Milo: Understood.


 * Milo: Yes! We won the lottery! i need a waiter, butler!
 * Butler: [suddenly appearing] Sir...
 * Milo: i need a waiter! I NEED HIM!


 * Melissa: Hello?
 * Richard: [on phone] Didja blow all your money yet?
 * Melissa: No, Daddy.
 * Richard: [on phone] Alright, call me when ya blow all your money, love ya, bye.


 * [Milo seen sitting on his couch in his pajamas with Melissa arriving with the groceries]
 * Melissa: Milo, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at School?
 * Milo: I quit my job, Melissa.
 * Melissa: You what?
 * Milo: Yeah, we're rich now. I don't need to be working. Ah, you should've been there, Melissa. I told Lola what she could do with that job, just like I always fantasized.
 * [cutaway to Milo quitting his job at the brewery]
 * Milo: Lola I just want to thank you for several extremely pleasurable years working for this corporation. Uh, certain unexpected developments have created a situation where I am no longer in need of employment. Uh, I would be remiss, however, if I did not extend my gratitude to you for your unwavering fairness and belief in me, and there is a giant poo on your desk.


 * [Milo, Zack, Melissa, Wally, Sara and Diogee now completely broke, are seen in Jackets sitting on a curb]
 * Melissa: I can't believe it. We lost everything.
 * Wally: What do we do now?
 * Milo: Well, seems like our only hope is the lottery.
 * [transition to one month later, Milo, Zack, Melissa, Wally, Sara and Diogee and are back in the same clothes in the same location, but looking more ragged than earlier]
 * Milo: Wow, we won twice and we're right back here again.
 * Melissa: We had $150 million, and we blew through it in a month.
 * Milo: Yeah, but on the bright side, if this hadn't happened, we never would've met Kris.
 * [zoom out to show a Man on the street]
 * Man: Hey.
 * [Milo, Zack, Melissa, Wally, Sara and Diogee greet the Man]
 * Milo: And that's not even Kris.


 * Milo: I just Really Know That in Formula 1, The Danville Speedway has changed into The Danville Grand Prix, and That Driver is going to Drive a Ferrari Like Sebastian Vettel.